Strike Force Five sponsors and ad reads

Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds, owner of Mint Mobile, with one final message for all five of you. I speak, of course, about the five people who still tune into this podcast. I know that I've had some fun at the expense of our hosts these past few weeks. And honestly, I was mostly kidding about being hurt because they never invited me on. But I never wanted to see the podcast get canceled after only 12 episodes. 12 episodes. That's just embarrassing. So, you know, rather than come up with some way of burning them and they figure out their next move while also telling you that Mint Unlimited Premium Wireless is just $15 a month for a limited time, I want to tell you how it ends for the members of the Strikeforce. That's right. It's a series epilogue brought to you by Mint Mobile who likes ending high prices in wireless. Stephen. Stephen. unable to face his family after the humiliation of podcast rejection, moves to Nicaragua, where he spends the rest of his days searching for that ever-elusive matching dictator shirt. The Jimmies change their name to the Flying Jimmies and perish in a horrific trapeze accident before a small but bored audience in Eastern Europe. Seth spends the rest of his career doing lucrative ads for a non-Mint Mobile brand wireless service just to hurt me, and honestly, it works. While John... No, actually, John makes it. Yeah, no, John, he's okay. He's thriving, even. I didn't see that coming either. So, for the final time on this final show, go to mintmobile.com slash strikeforce to learn how you can get Mint Unlimited for $15 a month for a limited time. And back to you, annoyingly talented and disturbingly generous sons of bitches.

Now and forever, Casamigos, the official tequila of the Strikeforce 5.

Before we finish this up, I just want to give one more word from a great sponsor. We're so grateful for our sponsors and everybody. Spotify. But now we're talking about Mint Mobile. Check this out. Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds, and I'm out here on the friendly streets of New York City to see if pedestrians can taste the Mint Mobile difference. Sir, hi, what's your name? How you doing? Lou, from Queens. Okay, Lou. Now, placed on the table in front of you, there's two cell phones. One is serviced by a big-time wireless carrier, the other one by Mint Mobile. Now, the question is, can you taste the Mint Mobile difference? Can I taste the difference? Yeah, can you taste which of these phones has Mint Mobile? You want me to like put the phone in my mouth? Yeah. How else are you going to taste the difference? Okay. Okay. Okay, right now Lou from Queens is opening wide. He's shoving the phone into his oral cavity. Lou, how does that taste? Like a phone. Okay, now let's get the other phone in there. How's that one taste? Like another phone. So there you have it. Same great taste and unlimited for $15 a month for a limited time. Go to mintmobile.com slash strike force today. Isn't that right, Lou? Lou? Oh, f***. Does anyone know the Heimlich? Back to you, group of sad middle-aged men. $45 up front required plus taxes and fees. Three-month promo rate renews at full price. Limited time for new customers only. Data speeds reduced after 40 gigabytes per month for unlimited. Video streams at 480p. Visit midmobile.com.

Well, let's take a moment to hear from one of our sponsors. Yes, that guy. Hi, it's me, Mr. Ryan Reynolds, owner of Mean Mobile. Even though the writer's strike is over, I will never stop doing ads for this loser's podcast. I love telling people how they can get premium unlimited wireless for $15 a month for unlimited time. And I cannot just give that job to anyone. My customers need to hear the message from me. Big time movie star, Mr. Ryan Reynolds. Even if I could get the best sidekick in late night history, I would say no. And what would the Strike Force 5 do without these funny ads from Mr. Ryan Reynolds? They would be f***ing screwed. That's why no one will ever replace me. Not even that sexy beast Guillermo. So... I, Ryan Reynolds, will see it again. Get unlimited from Mint Mobile for $15 a month for a limited time and go to mintmobile.com slash strikeforce to learn more. Good? Okay. How much do I get paid for this bullshit? $45 upfront required plus taxes and fees. Three-month promo rate renews at full price. Limited time for new customers only. Data speeds reduced after 40 gigabytes per month for unlimited. Video streams at 480p. Visit mintmobile.com.

Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds, owner of Mint Mobile and host of the first ever podcast within a podcast that I'm calling Save Force 15. There'll be no guests, no news, no thrilling crime to revisit. Just me and 14 of my colleagues at Mint Mobile talking about making unlimited premium wireless available for $15 a month for a limited time. Now, I know what you're thinking. How can unlimited wireless for just $15 a month be good? And how can there be two podcasts so similarly devoid of any entertainment value? Well, there can't be. I've just received a message telling me that SaveForce 15 has been canceled, but that message came through loud and clear on my Mint Mobile phone for the amazingly low price of just $15 a month. You want to learn more? Go to mintmobile.com slash strikeforce today. Oh, that one's not for me? No, that's for the five host-keteers. I think we all know what that's about. $45 up front required, plus taxes and fees. Three-month promo rate renews at full price. Limited time for new customers only. Data speeds reduced after 40 gigabytes per month for unlimited. Video streams at 480p. Visit midmobile.com.

Hey, everybody, before we go, just want to talk to you about the merchandise you can get from our good friends at Strikeforce 5. You get a T-shirt, you get a hat, you get a ped. All the proceeds, of course, go to some very, very good cause that we will soon discover. What we did was very wise. We waited until almost the end of the run of our podcast to produce a tremendous number of t-shirts hats and pens now we're going to be left with those if you don't buy them so strike force five f-i-v-e dot com to get your limited edition collector's item merchandise with the words strike force and five and we're going to throw in a lightning bolt with every purchase So this is like we opened a spirit Halloween in November. Is that what you're saying? Just after Halloween, people agreed with it. They were never going to have it again. We didn't know it was ending. We didn't know. We could have gone on for another six months. We got to ask Letterman to buy some merch. He's got a lot of money. Maybe that could be what he does for us, you know? Yeah. We should have made sure the guild negotiators were making it clear that when the strike ended, the studios had to pay for the leftover merch. Maybe we could trick the SAG-AFTRA actors into thinking these shirts are for them. Sure. Sure, why not? Go to strikeforce5.com. Buy shit. If you were going to buy one of the items, which would it be John Oliver? Which one of the three items would be your choice? I'd buy all of them in bulk to try and mitigate the losses from this entirely foreseeable catastrophe. Well, it's hurricane season still, so you could use it to fill up with sand. There's no better t-shirts from bursting. To be caught in a hurricane. Wearing. Strike Force 5. Do the pens work now the strike is over? Or is the answer to that no as well? We have not. We have not done any QC, I'm afraid. There were non-working pens. That was an interesting move. That's why we got them so cheaply.