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That's the pita. Oh, it's time to talk about something scary: your health. I know I don't go to the doctor as much as I should. If I'm feeling sick, I'll just lie in bed and sleep it away, but that's only because I don't want to have to deal with the appointments, insurance, and blah blah blah blah. That's why I have Zocdoc. Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors, choose the right one for your needs, and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about in-network appointments with more than a hundred thousand healthcare providers across every specialty from mental health to dental health, eye care to skin care, and much more. And the nice thing about Zocdoc is that you can filter for doctors that take your insurance, are nearby, and are highly rated. It's super easy to use and you can find an appointment time that works for you with the right doctor for your needs. Plus, Zocdoc appointments happen fast—typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same-day appointments. You don't want to admit it, but you should probably see a doctor. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com slash creepcast to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's zocdoc.com slash creepcast. Zocdoc.com slash creepcast. Thank you, Zocdoc, for sponsoring the episode. Back to our spooky story.

I want to take a moment to thank today's sponsor Ridge Wallet. At this point you all know Ridge for many of their fantastic and rugged products like their power banks, their luggage, and their premium everyday gear. But of course we can't forget about the Ridge Wallet. I've had a Ridge Wallet for the past six years and I don't see myself ever going back. They're the most compact, stylish, and durable wallets on the market. Right now Ridge is back with their legendary sweepstakes for the sixth year in a row and this time it's the biggest ever. Sweepstakes runs from July 24th to September 8th and two lucky winners will get to pick between a Lamborghini Huracan Storado, the world's first off-road supercar of which there are only 1500 in the world, a twin-turbo Ford Hennessy Velociraptor, basically an American muscle car inside of a truck, a custom-built Bronco with scratch-resistant Kevlar and 37-inch off-road tires, or 100 grand in cash. Personally I know a lot of people are going to gravitate towards the Lamborghini because it's a Lamborghini, but I could get up to some trouble in an off-road Kevlar-coated Bronco. And the way the sweepstakes works is it's completely free to enter. Just go to ridge.com and sign up. But if you were already thinking about getting a Ridge Wallet or power bank or whatever, now's a great time because purchasing something from ridge.com gets you additional entries obviously up until September 8th.

This episode is sponsored by Cash App. Cash App is here to make earning money fun. Other debit cards are boring, but with Cash App's personalization feature, I can turn a picture of Jeff the Killer or Smile Dog into my everyday card. Cash App is here to work for you to earn you money so that you can spend money on the things you love. If you weren't up to speed already, Cash App is way more than just a safe way to send or receive money. With the Cash App card, you can unlock a ton of perks without all the hidden fees. Enjoy benefits like exclusive early access to nationwide concert pre-sales for artists like Kendrick Lamar and Sabrina Kirk. Plus discounts on everyday purchases and popular brands you're probably already spending money on. Add your card to your digital wallet to make your money move easier. Cash App also adds security to your money by declining suspicious card transactions and sending you a notification to make sure that the payment is really you. If your card is ever lost or stolen, you can lock it with just one tap in the app. Spend with confidence with the Cash App card today. Download Cash App today and make your money work for you. Visit our link in the bio. Cash App is a financial service platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App Banks Partners. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, member FDIC. Cash App Visa debit flex cards issued by Sutton Bank.

Support for today's episode comes from Square, the business platform that helps sellers become neighborhood favorites. Square helps you run your business more smoothly, bringing payments, operations, and insights together in one place. Whether you're gearing up for the busy season or just trying to keep up with everyday demand, Square gives you the tools. From payments to POS to online orders, inventory, and staffing, it's all in one place so you can focus on your customers, not your to-do list. With Square, boothing at conventions is a breeze. With a phone, the Square app, and a Square Reader Doc, we can sell merch, track sales, and keep the line moving. It makes everything simple and streamlined, and it allows me to focus on spending time with fans. Yay. plus with square you get real-time reports on what you're selling to easily track growth and identify when you need to restock on fan favorites square launched its most powerful tools yet designed to give local businesses a competitive edge without the complexity if you're ready to sell smarter and run faster and stress less right now you can get up to 200 off square hardware when you sign up at square.com slash go slash creepcast that's sqare.com slash go slash creepcast run your business smarter with square get started today

this episode is sponsored by lola blankets lola blankets is the world's number one blanket craft with ultra soft luxury faux fur it's stylish machine washable and built to last for years which is why lola blankets is my go-to gift for any occasion when you give a lola blanket it upgrades the entire home elevating any space it's in making it feel warm cozy and stylized and lola blankets comes in a range of sizes the large is perfect for watching movies on the couch or snuggling up with someone else and they even have weighted blankets for those looking for an even more calming and relaxing item plus they also have matching pillows too that look amazing and are just as comfortable little blankets have collabed with numbers of amazing designers including limited edition drops with tiza harmony buh and rachel whether it's a wedding housewarming baby shower or graduation upgrade someone's space with lola blankets for a limited time our listeners get 40 off select lola blankets products with code creepcast at checkout just head to lola blankets.com and use code creepcast after your purchase last where you heard about them please support our show and let them know where we sent you thanks guys

support for today's episode comes from square the business platform that helps sellers become neighborhood favorites square helps you run your business more smoothly bringing payments operations and insights together in one place whether you're gearing up for the busy season or just trying to keep up with everyday demand And Square gives you the tools. From payments to POS to online orders, inventory, and staffing, it's all in one place so you can focus on your customers, not your to-do list. With Square, boothing at conventions is a breeze. With a phone, the Square app, and a Square reader dock, we can sell merch, track sales, and keep the line moving. It makes everything simple and streamlined, and it allows me to focus on spending time with fans. Yay. Plus, with Square, you get real-time reports on what you're selling to easily track growth and identify when you need to restock on fan favorites. Square launched its most powerful tools yet designed to give local businesses a competitive edge without the complexity. If you're ready to sell smarter and run faster and stress less, right now you can get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com slash go slash creepcast. That's S-Q-U-A-R-E dot com slash G-O slash creepcast. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today!

this episode is sponsored by lola blankets lola blankets is the world's number one blanket craft with ultra soft luxury faux fur it's stylish machine washable and built to last for years which is why lola blankets is my go-to gift for any occasion when you give a lola blanket it upgrades the entire home elevating any space it's in making it feel warm cozy and stylized and lola blankets comes in a range of sizes the large is perfect for watching movies on the couch or snuggling up with someone else and they even have weighted blankets for those looking for an even more calming and relaxing item plus they also have matching pillows too that look amazing and are just as comfortable little blankets have collabed with numbers of amazing designers including limited edition drops with tiza harmony buh and rachel whether it's a wedding house warming baby shower or graduation upgrade someone's space with lola blankets for a limited time our listeners get 40 off select lola blankets products with code creepcast at checkout just head to lola blankets.com and use code creepcast after your purchase last where you heard about them please support our show and let them know where we sent you thanks guys back to the episode

I want to thank today's sponsor, Warby Parker. Buying glasses shouldn't be complicated, but often it is. It's hard to tell if the frames are going to fit your face or if you're even being charged a fair price. That's where Warby Parker is here to help. Nothing comes close to Warby Parker's price, selection, quality, and customer service. They have 300 retail stores across the United States, stocked with stylish and quality eyewear. And one quick trip to their website can show you how easy they've made the glasses buying process. Their virtual try-on feature lets you try before you buy from your phone. So now you can try on tons of frames for free from your home and see what fits you. And Warby Parker has a ton of options, from prescription to non-prescription to progressive to even reader lenses. So you can ditch your old unreliable pair and get a new stylish one from Warby Parker. Their prescriptions start at only $95, allowing you to look nice at an affordable price. Plus, Warby Parker is covered by most major eye insurance plans. Plus they've distributed 20 million pairs of glasses through their buy a pair, give a pair program. So you don't just have to get a good pair of glasses for you, you can give a good pair to someone who needs them. And if you're looking to get in on Warby Parker, then now's the perfect time. Because if you head to the link in the description at warbyparker.com slash creepcast, along with one prescription pair, you can get 20% off any additional prescription pair. That's right, buy one, get 20% off any quality stylish prescription eyewear that you want on the site. Again, that's W-A-R-B-Y Parker, warbyparker.com slash creepcast to get in on their fantastic offer today. Thank you to Warby Parker for sponsoring the show. Their link will be in the description and we are back to the episode.

This episode's sponsored by Tushy! And it's time to upgrade Dad's favorite seat in the house with Tushy's Luxury Bidet. That means water up my butthole. Pssst! Dad's favorite seat in the house is the one where his bare ass is exposed. Don't tickle me down there, Tushy! Tushy helps bring maximum comfort to your trips to the bathroom. Well, sometimes I blast water up my asshole and chunks of poo-poo fall out and it cleans up my bum bum. Tushy's even days instantly modernize your daily routine, making it cleaner and healthier. I love using Tushy because it gives you a two-in-one benefits. Two in the pink, one in the steak. By reducing irritation and preventing micro tears while using less toilet paper. Less bloody asshole means less Charmin. Okay? Pretty good stuff. Things can be pretty messy in our bathroom. That's why I made the switch to adding Tushy in every bathroom in my studio, because I'm a disgusting slob and there's poop everywhere. And by doing that, Tushy helps us use up to 80% less toilet paper. And with less toilet paper means less responsibility. And less toilet paper means less clogged toilets and less gross bathroom experiences, unlike having water spray up my shitty ass with cakes all over the inside of my toilet. That's not gross at all. It's the toilet paper that I can cleanly wipe and throw away and it flushes and goes away. No, it's the residue. What's not gross is the residue left behind from Tushy. The other thing I really like about Tushy is that it's really easy to use. You can scent, cleanse, and dry using the built-in air dryer. I actually don't cleanse anymore. I only dry. Tushy approved. Tushy bidets go on easy in 10 minutes or less over your existing toilets. No power tools needed, and every Hello Tushy bidet comes with a 30-day hassle-free return and 12-month warranty. Stop guessing you're clean. Start feeling it. Jesus Christ. That's their call to action. Stop guessing your claims. Start feeling it. God damn. For a limited time, our listeners get 10% off their first bidet order when you use code creepcast at checkout. That's 10% off your first bidet order at hellotushy.com with promo code creepcast. Thank you to Tushy for sponsoring this episode. Now back to the episode. You got an itchy butthole? You got poopy, stinky butthole? Don't just guess. Be sure to dry it real hot with Tushy's air dryer. And then from there, you could do all kinds of things. You could try to get poopy, stinky, stinky, itchy time. You ever want to feel like your butthole's been stung by about 20 hornets? Tushy. You like having a messy toilet bowl? Looks like somebody just blew their brains out with poop? Tushy. I like whenever I have Hershey kiss poop. You know what I'm talking about? When it's like a piece of poop won't fall. So it's like a melted Hershey kiss on my asshole. And I get to blast that sucker with my Tushy bidet. And it sprays all over my bottom. All over my bare ass cheeks and the toilet bowl. But lucky with Tushy, I feel right at home. I feel perfectly clean. I feel itchy afterwards. I love an itchy. I love an itchy Tushy.