Bradshaw and Bryant on Garage Logic

I am not human. I am a being of pure light from the Andromeda quadrant. And I've traveled 400,000 light years to tell you but one thing. Bradshaw and Bryant. See, on my planet, we don't have injuries. We simply dissolve into stardust when we're wronged. But you, you fragile, magnificent earth creatures, you get hurt. A forklift betrays you. A gas station awning stages a coup and lands on your Toyota. A wedding cake, six tears of pure ambition, collapses entirely and takes your shoulder with it. And when that happens, you do not dissolve into stardust. You call Bradshaw and Bryant. I have seen these attorneys argue a case in front of a judge while simultaneously bench-pressing the very concept of justice. They are not attorneys as much as they're a natural phenomenon wearing suits. So when the universe throws living hell in your direction, do not panic. Simply go to minnesotapersonalinjury.com.