The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya sponsors and ad reads

This episode is sponsored by Zenni Optical. Once upon a time, in a kingdom where every mattress was made of clouds and every nightstand had a tiny judgmental owl on it, there lived an ugly prince named Katio. He was not cursed by a witch or raised by trolls or even born under a blood-red moon. No, he was ugly because every night he tried to read in bed without reading glasses, squinting so hard his face folded itself into the shape of a confused ugly accordion. No one shall ever love me, he cried, knocking over a goblet of bone broth soup from Erwan. Even in 2026, replacing glasses feels like a Hollywood production. You schedule an appointment, pay a fortune, and then wait in an ugly fluorescent waiting room surrounded by People magazines from 1997. Zenni Optical fixes all of that. Zenni is an online eyewear shop with prescription glasses, sunglasses, and blue light lenses starting at under $30. All you have to do is go to zenni.com, pick a frame, and upload your prescription. And then all you have to do is wait while they ship it to your door. No appointment, no store, no upsell at the counter. And with the price I got with my new pair of reading glasses, I stopped asking, do I really need new glasses? And started asking, why wouldn't I get a second pair that matches my pajamas? That's what's so great. I saved so much money that I can get multiple pairs without worrying about getting a second job. You can too. Get the ones for work. Get some fun ones. Get a pair that only matches that weird sequin union suit. With over 150,000 five-star reviews and virtual try-ons, then he lets you see exactly how a frame looks before you commit. Once I had mine, my nighttime reading routine was forever changed. They looked great, worked perfectly, and I looked damn good before I turned out the light. And thus, Prince Katyo read in bed, stopped squinting, became shockingly handsome, and found true love with someone who adored both him and his new reading glasses. If your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com slash podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order. The styles sell out, so don't sit on it. That's zenni.com slash podcast. Promo code podcast15.

This episode is sponsored by Hungry Root. Hey there, I'm Marlene, a Massachusetts mother of six, which means every morning begins like the Battle of Bunker Hill, but with missing sneakers and someone screaming because their sandwich has crust on it. Between running my dog wig business in Weymouth and launching my artisanal pretzel startup, I don't have time to stand in the supermarket having a nervous breakdown beside the rotisserie chickens. That's why Hungry Root has become my personal Paul Revere, galloping through the night to announce the dinners are coming. I recently discovered their chimichurri chicken bowls, and now I add them every week with the solemn intensity of a Kennedy planning a yacht weekend. Hungry Root keeps getting more personalized over time, learning what my family likes, what we need, and which child is currently claiming they are emotionally allergic to broccoli. With over 50,000 chef-curated recipes, many ready in just 15 minutes, it combines the convenience of meal kits with the variety of a grocery store. They screen out over 200 additives like high-fructose corn syrup, artificial sweeteners and preservatives, and their meat and seafood have no hormones or antibiotics. Now, with Hungry Root, I don't have to meal plan. Dinner simply appears like a miracle, but with fiber and veggies and other good stuff for the kids. You're going to love Hungry Root as much as I do. For a limited time, get 40% off your first order, plus get a free item in every box for life. Go to HungryRoot.com slash bald and use code bald. That's HungryRoot.com slash bald. Code bald to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life.

This episode is sponsored by Olipop. Cue the synth drums, roll the VHS tracking. The year is 1985 and I'm dressed like a tiny background dancer from a Wham! video, peddling my BMX through my neighborhood that smelled of hot asphalt, copper tone, and whatever mysterious plastic-made jelly bracelets possible. My hair is questionable. My shorts are too short. My Trapper Keeper is full of stickers. MTV is on. Madonna is everywhere. And every kid on the block is either yelling, where's the beef, or trying to solve a Rubik's Cube with the quiet desperation of a Cold War codebreaker. And in those neon, sprinkler-soaked afternoons, soda was the sacred fuel. The nectar of arcade tokens, Ghostbusters lunchboxes, Care Bears, Band-Aids, and staying outside until the streetlights came on. Now I am older. My knees crack like a cassette tape being eaten by a Walkman. But Olipop lets me return to that feeling, only reimagined with grown-up wisdom. Olipop is a new kind of soda with classic soda taste, high fiber, low sugar, and a functional ingredient blend to support digestive health. This summer, raspberry sherbet arrives bright, fruity, and refreshing, like an ice cream truck dream wearing leg warmers. It has 30 calories, 6 grams of fiber, and only 2 grams of sugar. And it's here for the summer only, so get it while it lasts. And blackberry vanilla is back for good, beloved by Olipop diehards with bold blackberry tartness and creamy vanilla smoothness. It has 50 calories, 9 grams of fiber, and only 5 grams of sugar. When my inevitable sweet tooth hits at midnight as I'm watching Nightmare on Elm Street for the 80th time, Olipop saved the day by satisfying my sweet tooth without delivering 60 grams of sugar an hour before I fall asleep. Plus, the blackberry vanilla flavor is like a tart but smooth punch to the face. It's just what I need to feel like a kid again. Olipop. It's the soda of your youth, reborn for the adult soul. Get a free can of Olipop. Buy any two cans of Olipop in store and we'll pay you back for one. Works on single cans of any flavor, any retailer. Just go to drinkolipop.com slash bald. Olipop is available in the soda aisle and with the chilled beverages at thousands of retailers nationwide, including Walmart and Target.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. It is I, Sir Helpsalot, modern-day knight from the Los Angeles Renaissance Fair living in the crazy world of 2026. This means my armor is emotional as snark, my steed is a dented Subaru, and my sworn enemy is a wretched goblin sorcerer named Stigma who lives inside the national group chat whispering, don't ask for help, simply become emotionally haunted. Well, not today, you little shame gremlin. We talk about mental health more openly now, but asking for help can still feel hard. BetterHelp's latest research confirms it. BetterHelp's 2026 state of stigma report surveyed 2000 Americans and revealed that 85% of Americans believe getting support is wise, yet 74% say society discourages people from doing so. That gap is the moat. That gap is the dragon. That gap is stigma wearing a tiny crown made of bad advice and saying just bottle it up until your left eye twitches. But therapy is not a trap door. It is support. And sometimes the bravest thing you can say to a friend is, my liege, have you considered talking to someone? BetterHelp has over 30,000 therapists, is the world's largest online therapy platform, and has served over 6 million people globally. And it works, with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. BetterHelp therapists are fully licensed in the US and follow a strict code of conduct. You answer a short questionnaire. BetterHelp helps match you, and if the match is not right, you can switch any time. So raise your sword, lower your emotional drawbridge, and tell stigma to go live in a cursed coffee shop. Don't let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash bold. That's betterhelp.com slash bold.

This episode is sponsored by Mood. Now, I personally do not use cannabis, but my podcast co-host, oh, that magnificent little queen who shall remain nameless but the name rhymes with pixie, loves cannabis the way a Victorian widow loves standing near cliffs looking for their long-lost seafaring husband. And that's why this co-host loves Mood and can't stop raving about it to strangers in the supermarket. What is Mood? Mood is an online destination for federally compliant hemp-derived cannabis grown on small, pesticide-free, family-run farms right here in the U.S. They make cannabis accessible, affordable, convenient, and transparent while supporting the American farmers who make all of this possible. Mood has gummies, flour, edibles, pre-rolls, and more, with products for different vibes and moments, sleep, focus, feeling happy and euphoric, even better sex, which my co-host announced with the quiet dignity of a raccoon finding a hot tub. Their favorite right now is Mood's Chill Out Gummies. They say they're smooth, great for winding down, and perfect for the end of a long week. For some odd reason, they tend to use them a lot after recording this very podcast with me. Is that causation or correlations? I guess we'll never know. And lastly, a lot of people don't realize hemp-derived cannabis products are still completely legal to buy online. Well, they are. And Mood makes it easy with discreet shipping straight to your door. So head to mood.com, find the functional gummy that matches exactly what you're looking for, and let Mood help you discover your perfect mood. And don't forget to use promo code BALD when you check out to save 20% on your first order. Try it today at mood.com with promo code BALD.